Saturday, August 14, 2010
Summer should be a hotbed of sexy singles, so why are you striking out? Could it be one of these 10 reasons...
1. Changing your relationship status on Facebook after the first date
I am not lying when I tell you – this has happened to me. The first date went well (we were all over each other) and we definitely drank more than our fair share of wine. I was definitely excited for the next date. The next day, I got a very interesting notification in my mini-feed saying, “Sharon is no longer single.” I didn’t call her for that second date…
2. Only ordering salads when we go out on dates
Don’t be that girl! You’re not a rabbit – you’re a human. By all means, order a salad as your starter, but there is nothing sexier than a woman who knows how to chow down. I’m not telling you to lick your fingers clean at the end of your meal, I’m just telling you to eat like a normal person! A girl who has eating issues is a red flag, and something that we’d rather not get involved with.
3. Bad manicure (or lack thereof)
I’m going to go ahead and say that it’s worth it to spring for a pampering session. Though you might think we don’t notice, chipped nail polish or chewed down nails can be a quick turn-off. It tells us that you don’t care. I was on a date with a girl who seemed to have given herself a manicure while driving on a bumpy road. I mean…really?! I don’t mean to be “that guy,” but it just wasn’t cute.
Nothing sucks the excitement out of a relationship more quickly than when I’m wining and dining my lady and she whips out her iPhone so she can promptly answer emails from her boss. I’m all for a woman who works hard and enjoys what she does, but there’s a time and place for it – and it’s not when I’m trying to look into her eyes over a candlelit dinner.
5. Body hair
Men are bestial creatures. We’ve been hairy since adolescence and are forced to shave every morning if we don’t want to look like a hobo. One of the most refreshing things about a woman is how smooth she is. Don’t ruin this fantasy for us. Shave your legs and underarms, take care of any awkward facial hair you may have, and groom your nether regions!
Don’t resort to a baby voice to try and get something you want out of us. I’m not dating a 5-year-old, but a mature woman. Sometimes little girls use this tactic when they want extra spending cash at the mall. I’m not your dad. If you are missing something from me in a relationship, then tell me in your real voice and be confident – don’t cover it up because you’re scared about what my answer might be.
7. Deodorant issues
Of course you look stunning in your little black dress, and I certainly appreciate your classic choice, BUT before you leave the house, make sure your deodorant hasn’t rubbed off on your sleeves. There is nothing worse than being distracted by a girl’s pits or those accumulated clumps of deodorant on your underarms. I know it’s hard to prevent, but be mindful of it before you leave the house!
8. Don’ talk about your problems
Everybody has them – it’s just part of the human condition. Save it. Don’t dote on them and make them the only topic of conversation, seeking my advice or approval. If you’re having problems with your family, your ex, your hygiene…it’s just kind of a deal breaker. I’m out with you and trying to get to know the best you possible, so bringing unpleasant skeletons out of your closet leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
9. Don’t forget your manners
One of my main rules as a man is classic chivalry. If I invite a woman out for dinner or drinks, I always pay, pull out her chair, and help her with her coat. It’s how I was raised. Don’t forget to say a simple “thank you.” It lets me know that you were raised with good manners and that you appreciate me. When a woman feels entitled to any sort of special treatment, it tells me that she is just a mean-spirited person. Manners are a must!
10. Only talk about yourself
Don’t forget that there are two people in a conversation. I listened so that I could score a first date, and because I was generally interested. Once you’re out on a date, I want to know that you’re also interested in getting to know more about me. Sometimes, in the nervousness of the moment it’s easy to forget to reciprocate questions. Be mindful of it.
So you’re looking for a boyfriend, but you just can’t seem to find him. You go out all the time and have great conversations with men. But, nothing comes out of them. You’re tired of waiting. Here’s the answer to your prayers: ask him out. Follow these steps and you’ll have a date on your calendar ASAP.
Take The Initiative
These days, women can get away with anything. We aren’t timid little people anymore. We’re strong and confident. If you’re in a social situation and you see a man you find attractive, take the initiative. Some men are too shy to approach a woman. So, instead of waiting for them, take matters into your own hands. Walk over to him and start a conversation.
Comfort is Key
Believe it or not, men aren’t foreign species. When they talk to a woman, they too like to feel comfortable. Tell your cutie that you like his shirt or that he has nice eyes. Compliments go a long way and are good ice breakers. If you make your cutie feel at ease, asking him out will be that much easier.
Flirt, Flirt, Flirt
When you’re flirting, you can never go wrong. Men of all ages appreciate some playful flirting. Be playful and sweet, but don’t come on too strong. If you make it known that you’re interested in him, he’ll know you’re going to ask him out.
Tell Me More
Everyone loves to talk about themselves. Be a good listener and get to know your man. Ask him questions that won’t scare him away. Remember, no one likes to be interviewed.
Go For The Gold
Be confident. Confidence is sexy. Instead of beating around the bush, come right out and say it. Tell your man that you’ve enjoyed talking to him and would love to hang out with him sometime. The worst he can say is no.
So, now that you know how to ask a guy out, go do it. Don’t be afraid. Fear isn’t attractive. Happy Dating!
If he plays music too loud, let them. But you could rehabilitate other unsavory behavior.
Most of the men treat women as ways to deal with football teams - we know very little and we are not eager to learn. But if your guy COUTH least, this does not mean you're stuck with a monkey. Men may change - but not too much at once. If your man social skills need a minor touch-up, here's how to manage it. But if his offensive behavior puts you always in a tight situation, the trade before he takes you with him.
Forgive and forget
These types of errors are more about personal taste than bad manners to try to ignore them instead of harassing to get your way:
You do not like the way he dresses.
It plays music too loud in the car.
He eats too fast / noise / unhealthy.
He does not deny the TV when you receive a phone call.
You disagree on how much to tip.
There are several ways to change its behavior, as he offered a trade of something he wants in exchange for custody of his ways. "My friend refused to tip over 15 percent," said Mary Stevens of Oak Bluffs, MA. "So we made a pact. If I think the point should be bigger, it puts extra money and I have to give him a back massage. "But trading is not necessary. Sure, you may struggle to change the characteristics that make your man an individual, but you may want to have more later.
So, unless its tweaks cause major conflicts (as if they affect your values, relationships with others, or well-being), let them go. "When you have to do favors to make a point, you're just making the best of being corrupt," says Harriette Cole advice columnist, co-host of "Pulse" on XM Satellite Radio's Take Five channel and author of choice of the truth: Living an authentic life. "We can live with a peak of 15 percent."
Fix it by diluting
By definition, some behaviors are rude, so if your guy a criminal, you can help it become the case. Some specific examples of when you can jump into effect:
He curses too.
His table manners are suspect.
He makes jokes about your relationship with your friends.
He makes no effort not to control his body sounds in public.
These types of behaviors occur because he does not know better. In such situations, it is not what you say but how you say it. Be honest. If your man is a guardian, he would not object to a little refining. "Give him a course of gentle in manners, so he can take with you wherever you go," Cole said. Some specifics: Do not embarrass him in front of people screaming. Wait a moment when you are alone together or can at least take him quite a place where others can not see or hear. This is not what you say but how you say it.
Be honest, but use a soft tone and not condescending. A line that never fails to say, "Darling, please listen to me one second. I want to help you see something you can not see. I think you do not realize how point he came through tonight, when you were (your boss cursing / joking about our love life / belching a lot). I think it gave people the wrong impression about you ... "Now you told him what was wrong, it can limit the damage - or both of you can understand how to solve it together. If you think he should apologize to someone, do not be afraid to tell him. "If he loves you, he would have noticed that you do not speak or behave in a certain way, and if you're supposed to be, it'll take a chance to redeem themselves," Cole promised.
Forget trying to make a silk purse out of this sow ear. Some behaviors are indicative of deeper problems that will not be solved by a simple conversation:
It is rude to people he does not know.
He is always right.
He is immature for his age.
It belittles you in front of people.
He is jealous of your friendship.
This ass is the reason Bumsville fathers are overprotective. It may seem romantic to date a bad boy who needs Fixin, but this character is broken beyond repair. "I dated a guy who did not like my friends, especially the guys," said Sarah Phillips, 27 San Francisco, CA. "He could not give me a concrete reason why he did not like them, so I dumped rather than abandon my friends."
It is tempting to stick with a bad boy, but you fool, it will not change. And the possessive or disrespectful behavior are often the first signs that a guy will become emotionally and even physically violent. Bottom line: You're too good for him. "It does not matter how cute - and generous - it is, if he has no idea about how to talk to you with respect, he does not deserve a second chance," said Cole. "It is like he is. Jump ship before you are locked"
Monday, August 9, 2010
Five signs your date is into you ...
1. She tilts her head
"When a woman sees and feels especially comfortable with a man, she will tilt her head," Hartley said. A tilt in any direction - right, left or down - are all signs she is interested in getting to know you better - for example, on a different date.
2. She takes a sip when you take a sip
When a woman is attracted to a guy, she'll instinctively mirror his actions, Hartley says. While men do this, too, women are more likely than men to first begin the copying. What should you look? "You may notice that she will pass her body in the same direction as yours or take your lead for behavior changes like picking up a glass to drink or blinking her eyes repeatedly if you are do, "he suggests. If you want to test her, lean forward and see if it approaches too.
3. She twirls her hair
Since the beginning of time, a woman's hair has been celebrated as a symbol of beauty and power. And it's true today, says Hartley: If your start date twirling or playing with her hair while talking to you is a good sign that she is in you and subconsciously trying to tell you attract.
4. She gets a glow
Often, the means blush of embarrassment, do not assume that her rosy cheeks are an indication of discomfort. When a woman is attracted to someone, the blood running down his face, causing her cheeks to get redder, Hartley explains. And if your date is smitten, he adds, her lips and even eyelids will get fuller, too.
5. His pupils dilate
While your gaze is fixed on her attention to her pupils, advises Hartley. "When a woman is attracted to a man, her pupils will dilate," he said. "Basically, the body does to afford to take more of a good thing."
... And five signs your date is not in you
1. She crosses her arms
Did she assume the position of Librarian angry? "When a woman on a date places her hands to her body - especially if they are crossed - she is closing itself of man," Hartley notes. If you receive this red flag, you have no chance ... and she wants you to know. "Men are not as insightful as women, although she is not aware of that, a woman knows her body language must be very strong," says Hartley. "In this case, that body language reads loud and clear."
2. She puts her bag between you two
"When I ask how male friends had a blind date, step by step, and they say'she put his bag on the table," I always know it's a bad sign, "Hartley said. If your date places her purse - a real barrier and physical - between the two of you, it shows she wants to create distance, he said. Not a good sign.
3. She speaks faster than an auctioneer
Then she seems to like talking to you? Before starting the festival, noted the speed of his conversation. "Romantic conversation does not occur at the same speed that the business conversation," Hartley said. "Conversation between two people who are attracted to the speed slows to about three-quarters and soften the tone. In fact, most emotional conversation - except when it is very hostile - is at a slower pace. "That said, it can be a bit nervous at the beginning of your first date, and nerves can cause her to spit her sentences in rapid-fire succession. But if at the end of the evening, it always goes at a pace Quick, consider it a clue that she just wants to be friends at best.
4. She offers a smile, chin-up
Although it is tempting to interpret any old smile as a sign of interest, all smiles are not created equal. Smiles can say a lot: "I'm polite," "I'm crazy about you," and, believe it or not, "I can not stick." The secret to decoding what her smile really means? Everything is in the chin placement. A woman who gives you a relaxed, chin down "soft smile" is smitten and wants you to dig back, "says Hartley. A smile toothpaste or stiff and polite smile - both of which generally involve the chin raised - means either "I love you as a friend" or "I want out of here!"
5. She strokes her neck
If your date tell you she agrees that you should get together again, it's a good sign, right? Maybe, says Hartley. "His body language can be the key to real truth," he said. "If a woman is gently stroking her neck when you say, there may be a sign she is interested, but it is also known to be a sign of lying. " To find out what message it sends, the aforementioned review "it is not into you" signals. If it also gives you a smile, raised chin and talk over a giant purse, you can miss your prospect.